{"id":2219,"date":"2026-08-08T08:39:01","date_gmt":"2026-08-08T06:39:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/2026\/08\/08\/yas-tutmayi-unutan-bir-cagda-huzne-dair\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T08:39:01","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T06:39:01","slug":"yas-tutmayi-unutan-bir-cagda-huzne-dair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/2026\/08\/08\/yas-tutmayi-unutan-bir-cagda-huzne-dair\/","title":{"rendered":"Yas Tutmay\u0131 Unutan Bir \u00c7a\u011fda H\u00fczne Dair"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/images.pexels.com\/photos\/6670215\/pexels-photo-6670215.jpeg?auto=compress&#038;cs=tinysrgb&#038;fit=crop&#038;h=627&#038;w=1200\" style=\"width:100%;height:auto;\"><\/p>\n<p>Sana bir soru soraca\u011f\u0131m ve d\u00fcr\u00fcst cevap vermeni istiyorum: En son ne zaman tam anlam\u0131yla \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcn? Yani <strong>ger\u00e7ekten<\/strong> \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcn \u2014 telefonu bir kenara b\u0131rakarak, m\u00fczi\u011fi kapatarak, o s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs hissini bir s\u00fcre oldu\u011fu gibi ta\u015f\u0131yarak? Hat\u0131rlamakta zorlan\u0131yorsan, bu yaz\u0131 tam sana g\u00f6re. Hat\u0131rlad\u0131n ve i\u00e7inden &#8220;of&#8221; dediysen, yine de oku. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ikisi de ayn\u0131 kap\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor.<\/p>\n<p>Bir noktada \u2014 \u00e7ok emin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ama muhtemelen ak\u0131ll\u0131 telefonlar\u0131n yayg\u0131nla\u015fmas\u0131yla birlikte \u2014 insanl\u0131k kolektif olarak \u015fu karar\u0131 ald\u0131: <strong>H\u00fcz\u00fcn verimsizdir.<\/strong> Bir duygu olarak k\u00e2rs\u0131z, sosyal medyada payla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 zor, i\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmelerinde dezavantaj, Pazar sabah\u0131 brunch masas\u0131nda ise kesinlikle yersiz. Bunun yerine ne \u00f6nerildi? Motivasyon videolar\u0131. Nefes egzersizleri. &#8220;Positive vibes only.&#8221; (Bu son c\u00fcmleyi okurken i\u00e7im buru\u015ftu, umar\u0131m seninki de buru\u015fmu\u015ftur.)<\/p>\n<p>Ben k\u0131rk y\u0131ld\u0131r insanlar\u0131n y\u00fczlerini \u00e7iziyorum. Ve \u015funu s\u00f6yleyeyim: <strong>Hi\u00e7bir mutlu y\u00fcz, h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc bir y\u00fcz kadar katman ta\u015f\u0131maz.<\/strong> Bu bir kural de\u011fil, sadece g\u00f6zlem. K\u00e2\u011f\u0131t \u00fczerinde mutluluk d\u00fczd\u00fcr \u2014 g\u00fczel, evet, ama d\u00fcz. Oysa h\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00e7izgide birikmez; bo\u015fluklarda birikir. G\u00f6z\u00fcn alt\u0131ndaki o hafif \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fc\u015fte, dudak k\u00f6\u015fesindeki yorgunlukta, ka\u015flar\u0131n aras\u0131ndaki o ince soru i\u015faretinde. Bir insan\u0131 ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7izmek istiyorsan, \u00f6nce onun ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fck\u00fc g\u00f6rmen laz\u0131m. Portre yapmak asl\u0131nda biraz da bu y\u00fczden zordur \u2014 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc y\u00fczeyi de\u011fil, a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 aktarman gerekir.<\/p>\n<p>Eski Yunanl\u0131lar melankoli&#8217;ye \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 bakarlard\u0131. <strong>Aristoteles bunu dahili\u011fin hammaddesi olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/strong> Filozoflar, \u015fairler, sanat\u00e7\u0131lar \u2014 hepsi melankolikti, hem de \u00f6v\u00fcn\u00e7le. Orta\u00e7a\u011f Avrupas\u0131&#8217;nda yas i\u00e7in \u00f6zel giysiler giyilir, \u00f6zel s\u00fcreler ayr\u0131l\u0131r, \u00f6zel rit\u00fceller icra edilirdi. Japon k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcnde &#8220;mono no aware&#8221; denen bir kavram var \u2014 \u015feylerin ge\u00e7icili\u011finden duyulan o tatl\u0131 ac\u0131. T\u00fcrk\u00e7e&#8217;de &#8220;h\u00fcz\u00fcn&#8221; zaten ba\u015fl\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na bir d\u00fcnya; seve seve i\u00e7ine girilen, \u015fark\u0131yla beslenen, \u00e7ayla y\u00f6netilen bir h\u00e2l. Peki nerede b\u0131rakt\u0131k bunlar\u0131?<\/p>\n<p>\u015eimdi ne yap\u0131yoruz? Birisi kayb\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131rken onu &#8220;bir \u015feyler yap, kendini me\u015fgul et&#8221; diye sapt\u0131r\u0131yoruz. Birisi a\u011fl\u0131yor, hemen &#8220;ama iyi ki \u015f\u00f6yle&#8221; ile konuyu de\u011fi\u015ftiriyoruz. Yas \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnde paketlenip i\u015fe d\u00f6n\u00fclmesi beklenen bir tatil gibi muamele g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. (Bak\u0131n, \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn yasal yas iznini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken i\u00e7imde bir \u015fey koptu. Sen de hissettiysen ikimiz de hakl\u0131y\u0131z.)<\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u015fte tam burada felsefe devreye giriyor. <strong>H\u00fczn\u00fc susturmak, asl\u0131nda bir bilgi kayb\u0131d\u0131r.<\/strong> \u00dcz\u00fcnt\u00fc sana bir \u015feyler s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor \u2014 neyin de\u011ferli oldu\u011funu, neyi kaybetti\u011fini, neye ba\u011fl\u0131 oldu\u011funu. Onu aceleyle bitirmek, mektubu yar\u0131da y\u0131rtmak gibidir. Ne yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyorsun, sadece k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 atmak istedin.<\/p>\n<p>Psikoloji bu konuda bize birka\u00e7 \u015fey s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor ama dikkatli okumak laz\u0131m:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Bast\u0131r\u0131lan duygular gitmez, bekler.<\/strong> Ve genellikle en k\u00f6t\u00fc anda, en beklenmedik k\u0131l\u0131kta geri d\u00f6ner. (Bir s\u00fcpermarket kasas\u0131nda g\u00f6zlerin dolarken anlars\u0131n bunu.)<\/li>\n<li><strong>H\u00fcz\u00fcnle oturmak, depresyon de\u011fildir.<\/strong> Biri bir durum, di\u011feri bir hastal\u0131k. \u0130kisini kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmak, hem \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcy\u00fc k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsemek hem de depresyonu hafifletmek anlam\u0131na gelir \u2014 her ikisi de tehlikeli.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Topluluk i\u00e7inde yas tutmak iyile\u015ftirir.<\/strong> Bunu antropoloji de s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor, n\u00f6robilim de. \u0130nsanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n y\u00fczy\u0131llarca cenaze t\u00f6renleri, a\u011f\u0131t geceleri, yemekli taziyeler d\u00fczenlemesi tesad\u00fcf de\u011fil. Ac\u0131, payla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda daha ta\u015f\u0131nabilir bir boyut al\u0131r.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Sanat, h\u00fczn\u00fcn en eski eczanesidir.<\/strong> \u015eark\u0131yla, masalla, resimle i\u015flenen yas; s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerle ifade edilemeyen \u015feyi bir \u015fekilde d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r. Bo\u015funa de\u011fil, en b\u00fcy\u00fck yap\u0131tlar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011fu kay\u0131ptan do\u011fmu\u015ftur.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Ben bir portreyi bitirdi\u011fimde zaman zaman \u00e7izdi\u011fim insanla ilgili bir \u015fey hissederim \u2014 ne oldu\u011funu tam bilmem ama bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131k ge\u00e7er i\u00e7imden. Sanki o insan\u0131n ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyden k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir par\u00e7a k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da aktar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, b\u00f6ylece biraz hafifletilmi\u015f gibi. Belki sanat\u0131n i\u015flevi bu; h\u00fczn\u00fc silmek de\u011fil, ona bir yer a\u00e7mak.<\/p>\n<p>Modern d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan biri, <strong>konforu mutlulukla kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/strong> Rahat olmak g\u00fczeldir. Ama hep rahat olmak, hayat\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmemek demektir. H\u00fcz\u00fcn bazen tam da hayat\u0131n i\u00e7inde olmak anlam\u0131na gelir. Onu hissetmek, bir \u015feye ger\u00e7ekten de\u011fer verdi\u011finin kan\u0131t\u0131d\u0131r. Sevmemi\u015f biri kayb\u0131 bilmez. Ba\u011flanmam\u0131\u015f biri veday\u0131 ya\u015famaz. H\u00fcz\u00fcn, i\u00e7inde sevginin izini ta\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>Sana bir \u015fey \u00f6nermeyece\u011fim. (\u0130nsanlara ne yapmalar\u0131 gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6ylemek hem kibir hem de s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n zirvesidir.) Ama \u015funu s\u00f6yleyece\u011fim: Bir dahaki sefere \u00fczg\u00fcn hissedersen, ilk i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcye kap\u0131l\u0131p telefonu a\u00e7ma. M\u00fczi\u011fi kapatma. O duygunun sana ne s\u00f6ylemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir s\u00fcre dinle. <strong>Belki sana seni anlat\u0131yordur.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>K\u0131rk y\u0131ld\u0131r \u00e7izgi \u00e7ekiyorum. Aletler de\u011fi\u015fti, teknikler de\u011fi\u015fti, k\u00e2\u011f\u0131tlar de\u011fi\u015fti. Ama el de\u011fi\u015fmedi. H\u00fcz\u00fcn de \u00f6yle \u2014 bi\u00e7imi de\u011fi\u015fiyor, ambalaj\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fiyor, ama i\u00e7indeki o a\u011f\u0131r ve de\u011ferli \u015fey hep ayn\u0131 kal\u0131yor. Onu ta\u015f\u0131may\u0131 \u00f6\u011fren. Kim bilir, belki i\u00e7inde bir portreye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr.<\/p>\n<p>Hadi bakay\u0131m, \u015fimdi usulca da\u011f\u0131l\u0131n ve m\u00fcmk\u00fcnse m\u0131sm\u0131l olun.<br \/><strong>Demirhan.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sana bir soru soraca\u011f\u0131m ve d\u00fcr\u00fcst cevap vermeni istiyorum: En son ne zaman tam anlam\u0131yla \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcn? Yani ger\u00e7ekten \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcn \u2014 telefonu bir kenara b\u0131rakarak, m\u00fczi\u011fi kapatarak, o s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs hissini [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-felsefe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2219"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2219\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}