![\"image](\"https:\/\/images.pexels.com\/photos\/8914490\/pexels-photo-8914490.jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&fit=crop&h=627&w=1200\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn metroda tam kar\u015f\u0131ma oturan birine diktim g\u00f6zlerimi. Hay\u0131r, terbiyesizlik ya da r\u00f6ntgencilik de\u011fil benimki, tamamen mesleki deformasyon. K\u0131rk y\u0131ld\u0131r eline her g\u00fcn ka\u011f\u0131t kalem alan bir adam\u0131n iflah olmaz g\u00f6z hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu. Kar\u015f\u0131mda oturan gen\u00e7 arkada\u015f, telefonunun \u00f6n kameras\u0131na bakarak y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fczeltiyor, filtreler aras\u0131nda geziniyor, yana\u011f\u0131ndaki o nefis sivilce izini yok edip burnunu hokka gibi daralt\u0131yordu. Ekrandaki y\u00fcz p\u00fcr\u00fczs\u00fczle\u015ftik\u00e7e, o \u00e7ocu\u011fun ruhu sanki geriye do\u011fru ka\u00e7\u0131yor, yerini balmumundan bir oyunca\u011fa b\u0131rak\u0131yordu. \u0130\u00e7imden avaz\u0131m \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 kadar ba\u011f\u0131rmak geldi: “Evlat, yapma! O yana\u011f\u0131ndaki iz senin bu d\u00fcnyada ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir yaran\u0131n, belki de \u00e7ocukken d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn o bisikletin tek \u015fahidi. Neden siliyorsun tarihini?” Tabii ba\u011f\u0131rmad\u0131m, adam\u0131 durduk yere metrodan indirmeyelim \u015fimdi (malum, memlekette sinirler zaten gergin).<\/p>\n
K\u0131rk y\u0131ld\u0131r portre \u00e7izerim. Binlerce y\u00fcz ge\u00e7ti \u00f6n\u00fcmden. Berlin\u2019in so\u011fuk metro istasyonlar\u0131nda titreyen evsizlerden, \u0130stanbul\u2019un \u015fatafatl\u0131 salonlar\u0131nda kas\u0131m kas\u0131m kas\u0131lan kibar tak\u0131m\u0131na kadar her t\u00fcrl\u00fc insan\u0131 ka\u011f\u0131da aktard\u0131m. Ve size k\u0131rk y\u0131ll\u0131k tecr\u00fcbeyle sabit bir ger\u00e7e\u011fi s\u00f6yleyeyim: Kusursuz y\u00fcz kadar s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131, derinliksiz ve yalan bir \u015fey yoktur.<\/strong> Sanat tarihi boyunca bizi b\u00fcy\u00fcleyen portreleri bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. Mona Lisa\u2019n\u0131n o asimetrik, ne id\u00fc\u011f\u00fc belirsiz g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc olmasa, o hafif tombul ve ka\u015fs\u0131z y\u00fcz\u00fcyle bug\u00fcn hangimizin umurunda olurdu? Ya da Rembrandt\u2019\u0131n kendi ya\u015fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izdi\u011fi o otoportreler… Adam resmen d\u00f6k\u00fclen etlerini, torbalanm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zaltlar\u0131n\u0131, hayat\u0131n sillesini yemi\u015f burnunu gururla \u00e7arpm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcze. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ek oradad\u0131r, o \u00e7atlaklardad\u0131r.<\/p>\n Benim bir mottom vard\u0131r, buraya gelenler, beni tan\u0131yanlar iyi bilir: “Alet de\u011fi\u015fir, el de\u011fi\u015fmez.”<\/strong> Bug\u00fcn elime bir iPad verirsin onunla \u00e7izerim, yar\u0131n k\u00f6m\u00fcr karas\u0131 bir f\u00fczen verirsin onunla karalar\u0131m, \u00f6b\u00fcr g\u00fcn duvara \u00e7iviyle kaz\u0131r\u0131m. Teknoloji geli\u015ftik\u00e7e ara\u00e7lar ak\u0131llan\u0131yor ama o arac\u0131 tutan elin arkas\u0131ndaki kafa ve y\u00fcrek de\u011fi\u015fmedik\u00e7e ortaya \u00e7\u0131kan \u015fey sadece teknik bir egzersizden ibaret kal\u0131r. Dijital ekran\u0131n pikselleri aras\u0131nda kaybolurken de, ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131n o p\u00fcr\u00fczl\u00fc dokusunu hissederken de arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m tek bir \u015fey var: \u0130nsan\u0131n o kendine has, biricik defosu. Bir portreyi \u00e7izmeye ba\u015flarken \u00f6nce o insan\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rmem ben. \u00d6nce omzundaki o g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn kenar\u0131na t\u00fcnemi\u015f o ince h\u00fczn\u00fc, yani y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcm. Sonra o y\u00fck\u00fcn y\u00fczde b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 izleri takip eder, burnun kemerine, duda\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131ndaki o hafif sarkmaya ula\u015f\u0131r\u0131m. Portre dedi\u011fin \u015fey, biyometrik vesikal\u0131k foto\u011fraf de\u011fildir; o insan\u0131n bu d\u00fcnyadaki varolu\u015funun belgesidir.<\/p>\n \u015eimdi baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p diyecek ki, “E Demirhan abi, biz aynaya bak\u0131nca o k\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131, lekeleri g\u00f6rmek istemiyoruz, moralimiz bozuluyor.” G\u00fczel karde\u015fim, moralini bozan \u015fey senin ya\u015flanman ya da kusurlar\u0131n de\u011fil; sana her g\u00fcn “kusursuz olmal\u0131s\u0131n” diye dayatan o vah\u015fi end\u00fcstri. Sana satmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 o kremler, o filtreler, o estetik operasyonlar asl\u0131nda seni sana yabanc\u0131la\u015ft\u0131rmak i\u00e7in var. Bir insan\u0131 sevdi\u011finde onun neresini seversin? Cetvelle \u00e7izilmi\u015f gibi duran burnunu mu, yoksa g\u00fclerken g\u00f6zlerinin kenar\u0131nda olu\u015fan o kazayaklar\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131? Cevab\u0131 biliyorsun ama itiraf etmeye cesaretin yok.<\/p>\n Gelin size bir portre \u00e7izerken kalemin ucundan d\u00f6k\u00fclen, o hi\u00e7 yalan s\u00f6ylemeyen detaylar\u0131 listeleyeyim. Bir insan\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ka\u011f\u0131da aktar\u0131rken asla gizleyemedi\u011fi \u015feyler \u015funlard\u0131r:<\/p>\n \u0130\u015fte bu y\u00fczden, benim d\u00fcnyamda herkese yer vard\u0131r ama herkes o kap\u0131dan i\u00e7eri s\u00fcz\u00fclemez. Fa\u015fistin, vicdans\u0131z\u0131n, empati yoksunu aptallar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7izmem ben. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcnde \u00e7izecek bir derinlik bulamam; alt\u0131 bo\u015f, arkas\u0131 karanl\u0131k birer duvard\u0131r onlar. Geri kalan herkes, m\u00fcltecisi, sokaktaki ka\u011f\u0131t toplay\u0131c\u0131s\u0131, a\u015fk ac\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7eken genci, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn son demlerini ya\u015fayan ihtiyar\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n tac\u0131d\u0131r. Onlar “\u00f6teki” de\u011fildir. Asl\u0131na bakarsan\u0131z, hepimiz birilerine g\u00f6re biraz “\u00f6teki” de\u011fil miyiz bu hayatta? Ve ne kadar g\u00fczel bir \u015feydir bu! Farkl\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z olmasa, hepimiz o ayn\u0131 fabrikadan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f plastik bebeklere benzeseydik, bu hayat\u0131n, bu sanat\u0131n, yedi\u011fimiz o g\u00fczelim yemeklerin ne tad\u0131 kal\u0131rd\u0131?<\/p>\n Sanat dedi\u011fin \u015fey tam da bu \u00f6tekile\u015ftirilen, kusurlu say\u0131lan detaylar\u0131n ortas\u0131na \u0131\u015f\u0131k tutmakt\u0131r. Bir portre \u00e7izerken asl\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131ndakine “Seni g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. T\u00fcm y\u00fck\u00fcnle, ac\u0131nla, sevincinle ve o yamuk burnunla seni g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum ve sen bu halinle \u00e7ok de\u011ferlisin” dersin. O y\u00fczden, eline ne zaman bir f\u0131r\u00e7a, bir kalem ya da sadece bir telefon alsan, o kusursuzluk ill\u00fczyonundan biraz uzakla\u015f. Kendini h\u0131rpalama. Y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki her bir \u00e7izgi, bu d\u00fcnyada b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir imzan\u0131n izidir.<\/p>\n Bak buraya, sana son bir tavsiye: Aynan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7 ve o \u00e7ok rahats\u0131z oldu\u011fun kusuruna dikkatlice bak. Ona k\u0131zmak yerine, onun sana nereden miras kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, hangi ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc oldu\u011funu hat\u0131rla. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc alet de\u011fi\u015fir, el de\u011fi\u015fir, devirler de\u011fi\u015fir ama insan\u0131n o muazzam, o h\u0131rpalanm\u0131\u015f ama hala direnen ruhu asla de\u011fi\u015fmez.<\/p>\n Hadi bakay\u0131m, \u015fimdi usulca da\u011f\u0131l\u0131n ve m\u00fcmk\u00fcnse m\u0131sm\u0131l olun Ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn metroda tam kar\u015f\u0131ma oturan birine diktim g\u00f6zlerimi. Hay\u0131r, terbiyesizlik ya da r\u00f6ntgencilik de\u011fil benimki, tamamen mesleki deformasyon. K\u0131rk y\u0131ld\u0131r eline her g\u00fcn ka\u011f\u0131t kalem alan bir adam\u0131n iflah […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sanat"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1932"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
\nDemirhan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"