Okur milletinin can\u0131 \u00e7ekmesin, k\u0131skanmas\u0131n, k\u00fcfretmesin ve dahas\u0131 halktan kopmam\u0131\u015f sevimli bir k\u00f6\u015fe yazar\u0131 s\u00fcs\u00fc vermek ad\u0131na, mutlak suretle isminin sonuna \u2018-bo\u015f, -i\u015f, -mi\u015f, -mo\u015f, -du\u015f\u2019 gibi tak\u0131lara uygun olan isimli bir hizmet\u00e7iniz olacak. \u00d6rne\u011fin; Kezban \u2013Kezbo\u015f, Hidayet -Hadu\u015f\u2026 gibi. Ama unutmay\u0131nki hizmet\u00e7inizden bahsederken \u2018bizim Kezbo\u015f, Kezbo\u015fumuz,\u2019 gibi aileden birisimi\u015f gibi bahsetmelisiniz!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her y\u0131l 8 mart dolaylar\u0131nda, bu hatunlar\u0131n alkolik, \u015fiddet sever kocalar\u0131 hakk\u0131nda, keza her 23 nisanda da \u00e7ok\u00e7a \u00e7ocuk sahibi olmas\u0131 \u00fczerine yazaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z \u201cta\u015f\u201d gibi yaz\u0131lar ile de toplu ku\u015f katliam\u0131 yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n bilincinde olacaks\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
H\u00fcpletmeden \u015fumburlop yemece kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kitap, CD, DVD, kad\u0131n ba\u011f\u0131, ayakkab\u0131, tatil, yemek, muhtelif biletler, giyim, i\u00e7ecek, prezervatif, \u00e7ocuk bezi gibi gelen hediyelere yok demeyeceksiniz. Bunlar\u0131 g\u00f6nderen firmalar\u0131n reklam sorumlular\u0131na hitaben, \u201cbir daha g\u00f6ndermeyin, istemiyorum\u201d asla demeyeceksiniz! Yazma kab\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n n\u00fcksetti\u011fi zamanlarda, k\u00f6\u015fenizde bu \u00fcr\u00fcnler hakk\u0131nda; \u201cAman \u00e7ok be\u011fendim, aman da aman ayy! Ne cici \u015feyler bunlar. Valla kullan\u0131n \/ gidin \/ yiyin i\u00e7in\u2026\u201d diye reklamvari tavsiyelerde bulunacaks\u0131n\u0131z. Ve hatta, \u201cbeni kim davet ederse, onun reklam\u0131n\u0131 yapar\u0131m\u201d demekten korkmayacaks\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
U\u00e7akta yer a\u00e7maca ve kapmaca kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her ne pahas\u0131na olursa olsun, Ba\u015fbakan\u2019\u0131n u\u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda \u2018oturma organ\u0131\u2019 kadar olan koridorda \u00e7ekilen, \u00e7ektirilen foto\u011fraflar da kadraja girmek i\u00e7in; ya yan\u0131n\u0131zdakinin b\u00f6\u011fr\u00fcne dirsek atacaks\u0131n\u0131z, ya \u00e7akt\u0131rmadan kol bacak \u0131s\u0131racaks\u0131n\u0131z; ya da hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131, denkla\u015f\u00f6re bas\u0131lma an\u0131na denk getirmek kayd\u0131yla var g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fczle z\u0131playacaks\u0131n\u0131z\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sizin de g\u00f6r\u00fcnece\u011finiz o foto\u011fraflar, ba\u015f sayfalara bas\u0131lacak. Ve b\u00f6ylece Ba\u015fbakan\u2019\u0131n en \u00e7ok g\u00fcvendi\u011fi \/ be\u011fendi\u011fi k\u00f6\u015fe yazar\u0131 oldu\u011funuz anla\u015f\u0131lacak\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yandaki kenefte \u2018def-i hacet\u2019 yap\u0131yordu kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hollywood starlar\u0131 ve starc\u0131klar\u0131 ile lokantada, caddede, ayn\u0131 partide, kenefte, bar ve cafelerde bulundu\u011funuz ve kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z zamanlarla ilgili olarak, birinci sayfada yay\u0131nlanmak \u00fczere;<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFilanca star, yandaki kenefte bir stara yak\u0131\u015f\u0131r sesler e\u015fli\u011finde def-i hacetini yap\u0131yordu.\u201d \u201cFalanca \u00fcnl\u00fc, yakla\u015f\u0131k 53,5 metre uza\u011f\u0131mda yar\u0131m kiloluk bifte\u011fini yerken, bana do\u011fru bakarak, selam verircesine ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131!..\u201d \u201cBa\u015fbakan\u2019\u0131n da kat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 konferansta, haz\u0131r bulunan d\u00fcnyaca \u00fcnl\u00fc Hollywood star\u0131, gazetemizde incelerken g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcz bu foto\u011fraf\u0131n \u00e7ekildi\u011fi anda, gazetemize olan sevgisini anlat\u0131yordu\u2026\u201d gibi haberler i\u00e7in gerekli foto\u011fraflar\u0131 \u00e7ekmenin, zirveye ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir k\u00f6\u015fecinin alt\u0131n kural\u0131 oldu\u011funu unutmayacaks\u0131n\u0131z\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bu halk adam olmaz (salakt\u0131r) kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Halktan kopuk ya\u015famay\u0131 entellekt\u00fcellik, modernlik sayacaks\u0131n\u0131z. \u00d6ng\u00f6r\u00fclerinizin tutmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlar ve olaylardan dolay\u0131, direkt halk\u0131 su\u00e7layacaks\u0131n\u0131z. \u00d6rne\u011fin; dedi\u011finiz, istedi\u011finiz siyasi bir partinin hezimete u\u011framas\u0131n\u0131n yeg\u00e2ne sebebinin halk\u0131n salakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011funu unutmayacaks\u0131n\u0131z!..<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Urun yi\u011fitlerim, sa\u011f komay\u0131n kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bir yandan \u00f6nemli olan spor (!) karde\u015flik, rekabetin tad\u0131na varma diye, \u201cgel karde\u015f elimi tutsana..\u201d lay-laylom \u015fark\u0131 tad\u0131nda yaz\u0131lar yazacaks\u0131n\u0131z; ard\u0131ndan tuttu\u011funuz tak\u0131m ma\u011flup oldu\u011funda \u201chomoseks\u00fcel hakem, sat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f rakip\u201d \u015feklinde yaz\u0131lar yazmaktan geri kalmayacaks\u0131n\u0131z\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dinbezirgan\u0131 kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u00f6\u015fenizde din, Allah, kutsal kitap ad\u0131na sa\u011fa sola k\u00fcfredeceksiniz; foto\u011fraflar\u0131n \u00fczerine \u00e7arp\u0131 atarak insanlar\u0131 hedef g\u00f6stereceksiniz. Sonra birisi sizin bu aymazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zla ilgili hakk\u0131n\u0131zda dava a\u00e7\u0131nca, kuyru\u011funuzu bacaklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n aras\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p, \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z gazeteye \u201cbizde b\u00f6yle birisi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131yor\u201d dedirteceksiniz!..<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130lkeli gazetecilik nedir ki, kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00dclke s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 i\u00e7erisinde \u2018ilkeli gazetecili\u011fin\u2019 bir \u00fctopya oldu\u011funu bileceksiniz. \u201c\u00d6nemli olan ilke filan de\u011fil, \u00f6nemli olan gazetenin ne kadar k\u00e2r etti\u011fi ilkesidir\u201d, kural\u0131n\u0131 unutmayacaks\u0131n\u0131z\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Durun Allah a\u015fk\u0131na, azzucuk daha yalayay\u0131m kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z medya grubun \u00e7\u0131karlar\u0131 her\u015feyden \u00f6nce gelir.. Grubunuzun 8-12 ya\u015f IQ\u2019s\u00fcne g\u00f6re yay\u0131nlanan diziler ve bu dizilerin kahramanlar\u0131 hakk\u0131nda \u00f6v\u00fcc\u00fc yaz\u0131lar d\u00f6\u015feyeceksiniz. Keza, ayn\u0131 kahramanlar\u0131n yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ger\u00e7ek hayatta ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fcas\u0131na \u00fclkenin g\u00fcndemine sokmay\u0131; kamuoyunun i\u015fini g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc b\u0131rak\u0131p \u201culan o kadar paray\u0131 nas\u0131l reddeder\u201d ya da \u201daferin namuslu kar\u0131ym\u0131\u015f, baksana o kadar paray\u0131 reddetti\u201d gibi yaz\u0131lar yazmay\u0131 g\u00f6rev bileceksiniz. Bunun yan\u0131 s\u0131ra, patronun yedi\u011fi nanelerin hesab\u0131n\u0131 soranlara kar\u015f\u0131 di\u015fini g\u00f6stereceksiniz! Patrondan daha patroncu olup, ama asla r\u00fczgar g\u00fcl\u00fc olmaktan vazge\u00e7meyeceksiniz\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biz iyiler ve tu kaka olanlar kural\u0131:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z gazetenin sahiplerinin, y\u00f6neticilerinin ve bunlar\u0131n t\u00fcm s\u00fclalesinin hepsinin, birer melek ve g\u00f6kten 12 silindirli zembille indiklerini asla unutmayacaks\u0131n\u0131z!.. E\u011fer ortada yamuk bir durum varsa (!?) o zaman ya rakip gazete ya da devletin adam gibi gazetecili\u011fe olan tahamm\u00fcls\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc su\u00e7ludur, ilkesini \u00f6z\u00fcmseyeceksiniz. En az\u0131ndan rakip gazetede yazmaya ba\u015flay\u0131ncaya kadar\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Efendim bir \u015fey mi dediniz? Duymad\u0131m!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130yi bir gazeteci mi? Ama, ben \u201ciyi bir gazete yazar\u0131 nas\u0131l olmal\u0131?\u201d sorusuna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k bunlar\u0131 yazmad\u0131m ki\u2026 Bu yazd\u0131klar\u0131m, sadece \u201ck\u00f6\u015fe yazar\u0131 nas\u0131l olur\u201d ile ilgiliydi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u0131sm\u0131l olun\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Okur milletinin can\u0131 \u00e7ekmesin, k\u0131skanmas\u0131n, k\u00fcfretmesin ve dahas\u0131 halktan kopmam\u0131\u015f sevimli bir k\u00f6\u015fe yazar\u0131 s\u00fcs\u00fc vermek ad\u0131na, mutlak suretle isminin sonuna \u2018-bo\u015f, -i\u015f, -mi\u015f, -mo\u015f, -du\u015f\u2019 gibi tak\u0131lara uygun olan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1807,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-eskiyazilarim"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1814"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1815,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1814\/revisions\/1815"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1807"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demirhanocak.com\/site26\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}